Why Do Couples Smash Glass at Jewish Weddings? The History & Meaning Behind the Tradition

Groom about to stomp on the glass

Smashing the Glass: the MAZEL TOV! moment

You're sitting teary-eyed at the end of a Jewish wedding ceremony. The couple are standing under their gauzy chuppah (wedding canopy) that is covered in flowers and eucalyptus, gazing at each other with starry eyes as a solo violin croons an ethereal, melancholy song. The music stops, and the groom lifts a leg and stomps on a cloth-wrapped glass with a satisfying, audible crunch. "MAZEL TOV!" comes the shout from the crowd, and just like that, a transition has occurred. They're married. The glass is broken; there's no going back now.

Today, this "mazel tov moment" is taken for granted as the apotheosis of a Jewish wedding, and it serves as a defining, vibe-shifting act. But why does it happen, and has it always been this way?

In Remembrance of the Temple?

The most commonly-cited reason for breaking the glass is as a remembrance of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, which happened twice: once in 586 BCE and once in 70 AD. Thus the song that is often sung or played right before the glass is broken is some version of the verse from Psalms (137:5, JPS 2023), "If I forget thee O Jerusalem, let my right hand wither." Taken a little bit more broadly, this is the enactment of the idea that even in the most joyful moments of life, it is incumbent upon Jews to remember that all is not well because they are a displaced, exiled people whose most sacred place was desecrated and destroyed. This notion is frequently attributed to two stories in the Talmud (Berakhot 30b/31a), which both relate stories of glass being broken at weddings.

However, there is good news for those of us who struggle to relate our day-to-day lives, let alone the most important moments of our lives, to depressing things that happened 2,000 years ago: like many things in Judaism, there's more to the story. Ana Prashizky and Ari Zivotofsky both point out that the Jerusalem interpretation is relatively recent (like 14th century recent) (Prashizky 93). What's more, the Talmud stories don't point clearly to the destruction of the Temple. Here are the two stories (in Koren-Steinzaltz translation via Sefaria):

Story 1:

Mar, son of Ravina, made a wedding feast for his son and he saw the Sages, who were excessively joyous. He brought a valuable cup worth four hundred zuz and broke it before them and they became sad.

Story 2:

Rav Ashi made a wedding feast for his son and he saw the Sages, who were excessively joyous. He brought a cup of extremely valuable white glass and broke it before them, and they became sad.

These are followed by one more anecdote:

In a similar vein, Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: One is forbidden to fill his mouth with mirth in this world, as long as we are in exile, as it is stated: “When the Lord returns the captivity of Zion we will be as dreamers” (Psalms 126:1). Only “then will our mouths fill with laughter and our lips with song” (Psalms 126:2).

So on the one hand, these texts that many people point to as source material for the glass breaking tradition are about tempering unbridled joy with no connection to the Temple. On the other hand, the stories are part of a conversation about limiting joy in the context of exile, which is directly connected to the destroyed Temple. It's also worth keeping in mind that the Talmud was compiled and written between the 3rd and 6th centuries, a time when Temple destruction and exile were more recent history. With all of that said, Prashizky also suggests that the Talmudic sources for this tradition were referenced as explanation only after the custom had become well-established and people were looking for strong Jewish connections (ibid).

We have now established that the ritual of breaking a glass at Jewish weddings may or may not be about remembering the destruction of the Temple. However, not knowing its definitive origin does not diminish the meaning of the tradition. On the contrary, it allows us to explore other interpretations of the custom.

Relatable Interpretations of the Glass Smashing Tradition

Holding Multitudes

Regardless of how connected someone feels to the ancient Temple in Jerusalem, it's not hard to acknowledge that the joy of any wedding takes place in the context of an imperfect world that contains pain, loss, and suffering. Sometimes that pain feels close, like in a family that has experienced immediate loss. In those instances, breaking glass can be a way to express that we feel both heartache and joy in the exact same moment, and that one doesn't preclude the other.

Tikkun Olam, Repairing the World

Smashing a glass is a way to symbolize the brokenness in the world. Even at the highest highs of joy, it is important to recall that things aren't perfect and that there is work to do to make them better. Just as reference to the destroyed Temple is typically tied to a hope for its rebuilding (Prashizky 94), acknowledging the broken parts of the world is also an expression of hope for the creation of a more perfect world.

Irreversibility

In the same way that breaking the glass is an irreversible act, so too is the act of marriage. Yes, there are mechanisms for becoming un-married, but there is no way to go back in time and undo the creation of the marriage.

Re-forming Relationships

Marriage changes families. Particularly in a first marriage, the bonds between parent and child shift as the new marriage relationship forms. Stomping on the glass is symbolic of the breaking of relationships that happens before the new arrangements fall into place. Re-melting the shards into a beautiful keepsake symbolizes the beauty that comes from the new and re-formed relationships.

Smashing the Patriarchy

Some couples choose their own interpretations and takes on the ritual to reflect their values and lived realities. For example, at my own wedding, I (the bride) stomped on a glass during a different part of the ceremony to declare that although I was choosing to follow a particular structure for the marriage ceremony, I was not on board with its patriarchal implications. Others might break two glasses as a statement about the equality of the partnership.

… and More

There are several more existing interpretations for stomping on a glass at a Jewish wedding, including symbolizing the broken Mosaic tablets. For further relatively light reading, Ari Zivotofsky's article is comprehensive, and if academic articles are your jam, there is Prashizky's (2008) Breaking the Glass: New Tendencies in the Ritual Practice of

Modern Jewish Orthodox and Alternative Weddings and Lauterbach's (1925) The Ceremony of Breaking Glass at Weddings. 

Your Ceremony, Your Meaning

Regardless of any deeper, more historical reasons, the breaking of a glass under the chuppah at a Jewish wedding is a cultural symbol that holds potent meaning for the couple and their guests. As one of our brides put it, "I don't know that the traditional concept of the destruction of the temple is very resonant with me … but I do think that the sound of the glass breaking -- everyone knows, that sound is like “'You're married!'” And her husband chimed in, "Hearing that sound, it was like, 'Oh, okay, we did it!' … It is truly a transition sound from one stage of your life to another."

We would love to hear what resonates with you! Why did you or will you break glass at your wedding?